Fear.

shelves
Photo by Thought Catalog on Pexels.com

We are currently living in uncharted waters and times. I have asked many of our grandparents if anything like this has happened in their time. Their answer. No. They have, however, lived through other tough times. Some of them through the great depression. Some through World War II. Some through the Vietnam War. Some of them through the Korean War. Some of them and we have lived through the Afghanistan War or the Iraq War. Or, if you are like me you remember all too well 9-11. All of which, we became stronger together. United as one. A stronger nation. A stronger united front. The unknowns of this time are unsettling. I am right there with you. Don’t get me wrong, I question a lot of what is going on in our world right now as I type this. But the way I see it, we will get through it one way or another. What we used to know as “normal” will probably never be the same. But, as our ancestors before us did, we will barge forward and adapt to the new normal, whatever that may be.

coronavirus news on screen
Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

The new “normal” as we know it is unpicturable. Many are without jobs. Many are homeschooling their children while attempting to work from home. Many don’t know where they will get their next meal from. Some are fighting the sickness that is changing our world. Some are entering hospitals for a sickness that is not COVID-19, alone. Some are entering surgery, alone. Some are fighting battles, alone. The situations we are all faced with and are dealing with on a daily basis are difficult. Some more than others. I keep telling myself no matter how hard I feel like I have it, someone else has it worse than me. Please, keep that in mind during this difficult time. 

here is a light that never goes out quotes
Photo by Elina Krima on Pexels.com

Am I struggling? You bet your hind end I am. But am I letting the fear cripple me? No. Before the COVID-19 pandemic, I started this blog post, exactly as titled. Fear. My husband has “fear is a liar” tattooed on his forearm. We should know what fear does to us. However, we made a decision last year that was based solely on fear. I am not usually one to make those types of decisions and if you know my husband, you know he does research on everything in order to make the right decision. I am not saying this decision was wrong, but how we came up with the decision to do it was wrong. We made a decision to buy some land. It seems simple enough, right. We wanted to build a house on it. Again, simple enough, right. Many people have this dream to build their own houses. I never had that dream. I was fine living in something that wasn’t my “dream” home because I never in my life thought I would ever get my “dream” house so I wrote off the idea of ever even having it. Therefore, it never crossed my mind that we would build a house. Then this opportunity presented itself to buy some land just outside of town. Perfect again. We went through the motions of planning and preparing for our new house. Then it hit me. Actually, it probably hit us both but I admitted it first. 

 

modern building against blue sky
Photo by Expect Best on Pexels.com

We were making this purchase and building this house out of fear. For those that don’t know, two years ago, a few months after we moved into our current house, our house flooded. You can read more about it here. It was the most terrifying thing I have gone through in my life. Not so much about me, but I was worried about Jackson. Would he be scared? Would this hurt him? He lost a lot of toys, books, etc., in the basement. Would he remember it? We left our house at 2:00 in the morning in thigh-deep water.  This was life-changing. This is what brought us this fear. 

 

2018-08-29 16.22.52

We wanted to buy that land to get off this street. We wanted to “run away” from it and never look back. We were paralyzed by the fear of it happening again. My mom made a comment along the way that my husband and I would “make it slopping hogs waist-deep in pig poo.” While her words are pretty darn funny, she was also right. My husband and I have been through a lot in our almost 20 years together and we would make it just fine slopping in pig poo! Which also meant we would make it just fine living through another flooded basement. We no longer wanted the fear to control us. 

 

Also, for those of you that don’t know, my husband and I are extremely money focused. We live on a budget. We live on one income. We save as much as possible. We have very limited expenses. That is because we have a plan in place for early retirement, like by the time I am 45. Building a house didn’t fit our plan. It was going to double our current mortgage. It only allowed us to use our fear as an excuse to change our lives. 

i see a light in the darkness text

 

That is what I am afraid many of us are facing right now. An unknown amount of fear. I am right there with you. I have my fair amount of fear inside me, sometimes on a daily basis. But then out for a run the other day, I listened to Josh Baldwin’s song, Stand In Your Love. Oh Lord, sweet Jesus, it was exactly what I needed to hear. Especially, this part: 

MY FEAR DOESN’T STAND A CHANCE WHEN I STAND IN YOUR LOVE

 

This is my firm foundation. I know I will still be fearful. I am human. I am not perfect. But when those moments of fear creep into my mind, I am going to repeat this over and over. And remember that this uncharted and unknown world is unknown to all of us, it is known to Him. He will carry us through it. He will guide us when we need guiding the most. So as we continue in this world of unknowns and new normals, pray with me that we will all remember that as long as we stand in His love, our fear doesn’t stand a chance. 

you are not alone quote board on brown wooden frame
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

I do also want to put out there that if you need someone to talk to during this time, please reach out to me. I hope I am not the only one that sometimes finds herself struggling during this time. Heck, I struggled before all this happened. Thankfully I have my Lord to rely upon and a great support system. However, I know not everyone has the same belief system I have nor does everyone have the support system I have. So if you need to talk to someone, reach out. If you feel you need more help, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. 

We are living through what will be taught in history books in the future (do they even have history books anymore). Let’s try to remember to love one another. Be kind to one another. Show respect. Do something kind every day. Help your neighbors (at a safe distance). Say a prayer. Pray for our world. Find the good in every situation. And remember, you are not alone. And remember, do not let the fear paralyze you. We will get through this.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: