The other day (which I guess has been more like the other month) I was doing my morning devotion- thank you Jesus for sneaking back into my life and reminding me that I needed to put you first or I wouldn’t have been doing a morning devotion. And afterwards I did just one of the things my devotion recommended, write on a sticky note that said, “bad moments don’t make bad moms.” There were also a few other quotes to write down and post around your house as constant reminders. Well, I did just that. Then I put that sticky note on Instagram and Facebook. I was blown away by the amount of love and support I got from it. I didn’t know just how many moms needed to hear that. Lately the Holy Spirit has just been pressing on my heart that you mama’s needed another reminder.
None of us are perfect.
Social media might portray that we have it all together or at least the picture we choose to put on social media make it look like we have it together. But there is not a single mom, dad, parent, or person that has it all together, all the time. It is not possible. God didn’t plan it that way.
So stop comparing yourself to someone else. The truth is, they may be going through something you can’t see. I remember when we were struggling to get pregnant. I was certain everyone around me must have had a better marriage than we did. Or they must be doing everything right because they are all having babies and I am just sitting here with an empty womb. Someone then reminded me that they might actually not have it all together like I think it looks like. They might not have a better marriage than we do. Their marriage might be a struggle right now. Or, they might be having financial issues you know nothing about. Or they could be dealing with depression. Or a slew of other things that we cannot see from the outside looking in.
We are growing up and raising children in a very exposed manner. Everything wants to be shared on social media. Don’t get me wrong, I think social media can be a great platform. I also think it can be detrimental to our perception of everyone else’s lives. I am 100% guilty of this. Comparing myself to this mom or that mom. Comparing my hair to this girl or that girl. Comparing, comparing, comparing. Or wondering how that mom can get all that done in a day and I am just trying to make sure my kid makes it through life alive. The fact of the matter is, we all need to be living our lives not someone else’s.
One more thing, when you see a momma that you think isn’t struggling through life, talk to her. Ask her how she is doing. Chances are, she is struggling deep down inside. Or chances are she needs a little help. Speaking of help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. I have been extremely fortunate to have a very helpful, supporting, loving, caring, present husband and daddy to Jackson. Somewhere along the lines though, I thought I had to do it all. Work, clean, do dishes, cook, take the garbage out, heck I would even mow the lawn or snow blow (if I knew how!). Oh, sister, hear me loud and clear, you don’t have to do it all. Remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone! So, ask your husband for help. Ask you mom to watch the kids. Ask a friend to come over so you can shower in peace. Ask a friend if she wants to grab coffee so you can get out of the house for awhile.
If I have learned anything about being a mom (thus far) it is that I can’t be a great mom or wife if I don’t put me first. So, be the best version of you. Stop comparing. And know that you were created to have just the life you are living and God thinks you are beautiful!