Do you all know that Scotty McCreery “Five More Minutes” song? Oh man did the lyrics hit me pretty hard the other day. Every time Jackson hits my last nerve or frustrates me, I try to tell myself there will come a time in my life when I will have wished I had five more minutes with him as a little boy. Then I looked at him and realized he is not little anymore and I am already wishing I had five more minutes of him being little.
Here are the lyrics, in case you don’t know the song….
Y’all he just turned FOUR! How is that even possible? It seems as if only a short time ago, we were sleeping in a hospital bed trying to figure out how to stop this baby from crying. Oh man, we were clueless. Right when you think you have things figured out, have a baby! You will realize you have no clue!
But more than that I wasn’t really ready for how much this little boy would change me. When we were “waiting” to be matched with a birthmom all I could think of was holding a little baby in my arms and how happy it would make me. That is about the extent of how my brain worked. I didn’t think much past the baby stage. And then our baby grew in to a toddler. And then our toddler grew in to the four year old talkative, smart, sensitive, loving, caring, fun little boy that he is. And my heart just about exploded. He says some of the sweetest things and I think my heart can’t take any more of this.
But now here we are the last week of summer and he is off to school for the first time next week and this momma cannot.handle.it. I am excited for this stage, don’t get me wrong. He is so smart and I just know he will thrive in school. But, I want to be selfish and keep him small and with me. I don’t want to let him go. And if it hurts this bad to send him to school, can you imagine how I will feel when I have to send him off to college or when he gets married? Oh goodness, I cannot even let myself go there.
Do all you other mommas out there have the same feeling sending your child off to school for the first time? I don’t know if it is because he is our only child, and will be our only child, so I only get to do this once, but man, my emotions are all over the place. Thank you hormones!
So for now, I will take every five minutes I can have with him. And this time next week (Tuesday), when he starts school, you will find this momma on the bathroom floor crying! Wondering where my little baby went and just wondering how he is doing in school.