I remember every single Mother’s Day that I was not a mom. In fact, I remember sitting in church one particular Sunday when they recognized all the mothers in church that day and I sat there crying, wondering when it was going to be my turn to be a mom. If this is you at this moment, know I think of you often. I remember the moments I questioned God’s plan for my life. I remember the moments wondering when it was going to be MY turn, our turn. I remember the moments of seeing pregnant bellies at every turn. I remember the moments of getting yet another baby shower invite in the mail. I remember them all. Becoming a mom did not erase them from my memory, they may be further back in my memory but they are still there.
I remember someone telling us along the way that the “wait” will make you better parents in the end. At the time, I thought, I don’t care how good of a parent it is going to make me, I just want to be a parent, now. Period. The. End. Of. It. Well, I don’t want to tell this person, but he was right.
I try to remember the wait when I am sleep deprived. I try to remember the wait when Jackson says “I don’t love you — Just kidding– I am just tricking you.” I try to remember the wait when I have asked Jackson to do something 15 times. I try to remember the wait when Jackson has a bad day at daycare. I try to remember the wait when I wish I could sleep! I try to remember the wait when Jackson wants to read just one more book or play for just five more minutes.
But I also remember to think of the women who want to be in my shoes. You don’t go forgotten, especially on Mother’s Day. So, as I embark on my 4th Mother’s Day, I will think of you. I will think of the women out there longing to be mamas! When your moment comes, you too, will remember all the women who want to be in your shoes.
I also have to give a huge shout out to all the mamas out there, especially mine and my mother-in-law. Your strength, courage, wisdom, dedication, unselfishness, forgiving, fun, loving, wise, practical, honest, hard-working, joyful, kind, compassionate, outspoken, dependable, inspiring love does not go unnoticed. Maybe unspoken at times, but most certainly not unnoticed.
To my mama- first, I say I am sorry for the worry, headaches, drama, etc. I caused along the ride! Boy, you don’t realize your mom’s feelings as a child until you have a child of your own. But secondly, thank you for showing me how to be a strong, independent, funny, creative, compassionate, outgoing, silly, fun mom. I still remember the cartwheels in front of the bowling alley! Thank you for showing Jackson it is ok to still be young at heart– just like you did me!
To my mother-in-law- thank you for raising a boy into a kind, loving, supportive, thoughtful, caring, gentle, patient, compassionate, supportive, reliable, inspirational, confident, determined, smart, faithful, strong, amazing husband and dad. Thank you for loving Jackson just as much as we do!
To Heather- words will never seem adequate enough to thank you for making me a mom.
Thank you for showing all of your children (including Jackson) how to be a strong, independent, caring, loving, hard working, dedicated, smart, faithful, Jesus loving woman. Thank you for being open to having a relationship with us and with Jackson. Thank you for being there for me, not only as Jackson’s birthmom but as my friend. Thank you will never seem enough for what my heart feels for you. You truly changed my life, not only by making me a mom but by you being in my life as my friend.
To all the other mamas out there that I know, including, Nancy, Myriah, Megan, Angie, Ashley, Autumn, Christie, Sarah, Jackie, Laura, Renee, Alison, Keira, Stacie, Morgan, Renae and many more, know I think every single one of you does an amazing job. You are truly amazing role models not only for your children but for me!
To all the new mamas out there, hang on. It’s a fun journey but it goes way too fast.