Y’all this poem has been going through my head so much lately and this mama’s heart is just a breaking. I love nothing more than watching Jackson learn something new or do something all by himself. But at the very same time a little piece of my heart breaks. The moment he was born, he changed me. I learned a new kind of love. A love I didn’t expect. A love I couldn’t (and still can’t) explain.
If you have never read this poem before and you have children, be prepared to go through a box of kleenex!!!
The Last Time
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.
The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you awhile to realize.
So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.
I don’t remember the last time I fed him a bottle, and certainly didn’t know it would be my last when it happened. I don’t remember the last time I changed his diaper, and certainly didn’t know it would be my last when it happened. I don’t remember the last time I rocked him to sleep, and certainly didn’t know it would be my last when it happened.
So, as I lay with him for “just a little bit longer” at night, I will remember that there will be a day when he won’t want me to lay with him at all. And that, that memory, I will cling to like no other!
But I also know these days of raising babies are hard. Darn, the hardest thing I have ever done. In fact, someone I know just said “pregnancy was easy, motherhood is NOT.” While I have no experience in the pregnancy part, I know 100% that motherhood is HARD. So, while I know you just want a peaceful night sleep, a quiet night with your spouse, or just some sort of energy back, these days are limited my friends, limited.
Enjoy your littles while they are little.
**Side note– My husband reads and approves my blog posts before they go up every time (thank you JJ). And he so kindly reminded me last night while I heard “Mom, I am done, you can wipe,” that I won’t miss wiping butts when I am done!!!!