Guest Post #1

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A picture is worth 1,000 words

My heart feels like it’s being pulled in two different directions.  I see this little boy for whom I have an incredible amount of love.  I see how his smile lights up my world.  I can be having the worst day and when I get home and he asks for a hug and kiss, all my fears and worries drift away.  I literally feel my stress leave my body because all I need is his arms around my neck, squeezing.  After his hug full of love ends, he excitedly wants to play and share his favorite parts of the day.  At dinner time, he shares what he’s thankful for and then asks, “Mom, what are you thankful for?”  When mom says three things she’s thankful for, he says, “Dad, what are you thankful for?”  He makes me happy in ways I never knew were possible.  I never fully understood the connection a dad could have with his son, but now I get it and I absolutely love it! 

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As happy as all of that makes me feel, I’m also sad during this time.  I see the world in which we live.  The world in which I grew up.  The bullying, the name-calling, the addictions, all of the bad of this broken world. For the past three years, I have been able to protect my little boy from this world. If a show comes on that he shouldn’t be watching, I can turn it off.  If he clicks on a YouTube video that isn’t appropriate, I can turn it off.  If there are mean kids playing at the park, I can re-direct him to another part of the park. If he’s had too much screen-time, I can put it up.  It hurts and saddens me to realize that I’m not going to be able to protect him forever. We go to the park and he just wants to play with other kids, but not all kids want to play with him.  And the look of disappointment on his face is a look I can relate to.  It absolutely breaks my heart in a way that I never knew was possible.  My heart aches for him as he wants so badly to grow up.  And, yes, I want him to grow up as well, but I’m so scared for how this world might change him.

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What encourages me is knowing that he has so many people in his life who love and care for him in ways most kids are not as lucky to have.  He has a mom that is so incredible and selfless in her love for our son. The way she loves Jackson is absolutely beautiful. He has a birth mom that is so amazing and supportive in her love for Jackson.  He has grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, close friends who all love and support him in amazing ways.

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His mom and I will always be here for him. We will always love and support him. We will always pray for him.

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4 thoughts on “Guest Post #1

  1. JJ, you are so amazing! There’s no other woman who would be a better mom for Jackson than Jessica, and there’s no other man who would be a greater father than you!! I want you guys to have so much confidence in yourselves. I know this parenting thing is hard, but you guys truly are doing an awesome job, and are THE BEST!
    I honestly and firmly believe that this world isn’t going to change Jackson, I believe Jackson is going to change this world! My heart rejoices for Jackson knowing he has you both as his parents, his role models, and his leaders in this world.
    This world definitely is heavy, heartbreaking, and sometimes scary…. but I truly believe he will have everything he needs and more to be the greatest he can be… (he already has everything he needs and more)

    Even though I absolutely 100% believe Nurture will ALWAYS beat Nature —
    I would like to share this, being his birth mom… Just in case he’s anything like me. Just in case at any point in his life it can help!
    When I was a child, I tried to be kind to everyone, but I got bullied really bad. (kids can be so cruel, and I’m sure every single person on this planet has experienced bullying – sadly)..
    I was very smart in school, got straight A’s, had huge glasses, and was overweight my whole life.. People made fun of me constantly, and I allowed it to change my own view of myself!
    I was naturally very insecure, no confidence whatsoever, and never really knew how to love myself, and sadly, the bullying made it a whole lot worse!
    So, that’s the 1 thing I want for all my children – for them to absolutely LOVE themselves (in the most humble way), to be confident in who they are, no matter what anyone else says or thinks! I want them to be SO HAPPY to be who they are – Love who they are! ALWAYS love themselves!!! (It took me way more than 20 years to learn how to love myself!)
    Another big thing is teaching my children that exercising should definitely be a part of everyday life. To stay healthy & active is important – I already know you guys will take care of that!

    (Just a reminder, I’m just sharing all of this just in case it is help at any point in his life –
    just in case he’s anything like me at all)

    Secondly, I would want you guys to know that I always stayed quiet about everything that made me sad, or things that were hurting me.. I just kept it all in, unless someone else brought it up, or I HAD to bring it up.. I encourage you to be those “annoying” super involved parents who lovingly and gently ask so many questions and want to know everything about his day, and encourage him to tell you guys everything. What makes him sad, too. Just EVERYTHING! You know Jackson, and you will know if something may be bothering him. He’s going to be GREAT having you both as his anchors in this world. He’s going to prosper in all ways, I just KNOW this..

    Also, when he is older, and if you feel it could benefit him – I would be more than happy to sit down and talk to him about addictions & substance abuse and my personal experiences and provide him with the first hand truth of how horrible substance abuse can and will affect your life.. I actually plan on having that sit down with my children when they are older as well. I know that telling them my personal experiences will have a greater impact than reading about substances and their effects in a book. Just letting you know – I am here for WHATEVER, WHENEVER!!!

    But, you guys totally got this!!! With our Lord as your guide. & remember that verse you dedicated to Jackson, Ephesians 1:16-17. He will know him!

    Sorry if I wrote too much! Love you guys!

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    • Heather…you are amazing….your outlook is a breath of fresh air . I’d like to sit down with you some time and talk about that substance abuse/addiction stuff….been there done that…

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  2. Jackson is one lucky boy…you don’t get enough credit Mr. Heesch…your quiet nature puts you on the back burner at times. It’s hard to get a word in at best…lol…but you have done an amazing job with Jackson…I have spent hours watching you two and really can’t express the comfort I get knowing Jackson is in such good hands…when he says “hey Dad” his little eyes dance….I know we as parents can’t keep our kids safe all the time, accidents happen..I know you would give your life to keep him safe…you got this to by the way……God picked the best for Jackson..

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