And if you haven’t seen my mom’s comment either on the “Moving Forward” blog, I will post it here for you all to see. Why? Because I think we all need to be reminded that no matter how old you are, no matter your circumstances, no matter your situation, no matter your mood, no matter what, you need your mom!! Well, at least I do!!
I have waited to comment on this post but here it goes. As stated on an earlier blog I wasn’t so sure about this open adopting thing. Although Heather was and has been amazing through Jackson’s journey I wasn’t liking any part of this process again…when Jess called and said they “we” were getting another baby I was excited and so happy for them. However something didn’t feel right about this adoption. Perhaps I was just thinking this “new” woman should be as responsible as Heather had been. I was waiting to hear some reassuring words from this other woman, they never came. When Jess called me up to tell me this woman changed her mind my heart sank. I don’t do well when my kids are hurting and just how in the hell can I put these hearts back together. I won’t share the exact words I shared with Jessica that day but will share my uncensored version. After I wiped the tears and took a deep breath I tried to calm Jessica’s hurt. Sometimes I freeze in that department. Again I found myself telling her God had given them”us” one very special little boy. Grandpa and I love him to the moon and back. We were so grateful for their blessing of Jackson that although the pain is fresh we will get through it. I told her no more kicking herself in the ass (sorry) for what they tried to do. And that was only to love another baby. I had started a special blanket for this new addition that didn’t come into our life …crocheted into the blanket it says..” you are my sunshine my only sunshine”. Today Jackson is still that ray of sunshine and I still am not sure about this “open adoption ” thing. I thank God for Heather every day. If I miss a day I Thank God twice. And “life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get”