The Zoo.

(Update– please read my mom’s comment below to get her perspective on the meeting!)

Our thought process was that both of our parents were going to be at the hospital and Heather’s family was going to be there too when the baby was born.  We didn’t know how her family felt about it, we knew they were supportive of her decision to place her child with us, we just didn’t know how they were going to be feeling emotionally with it all, when we walked out of the hospital with the baby and Heather did not. We wanted to be sympathetic to those feelings. We knew our parents were going to be over the moon excited. But how were her parents or grandparents going to be feeling? How would they feel around us (complete strangers to them). So, we planned a get together at the zoo with the 3 families. Our parents, JJ’s brother, Heather, Heather’s mom, dad, grandma, her niece and her two children were all there.  Most would probably feel shy, possibly uncomfortable, maybe awkward, or just different when you are meeting the family who is going to change your life forever. For us, it wasn’t like that at all. It has never been like that. It honestly feels like we are hanging out with our family, our blood family. We spent several hours together walking around the zoo, playing with the kids and having lunch together. There weren’t any “awkward” moments, there was just a lot of fun and laughter.

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A few weeks later we attended a little birthday party for Heather at her sister’s house.  Heather’s sister and brother-in-law were not able to be at the zoo with us and were just as excited to meet us as we were to meet them. It was really starting to feel like we were becoming a family. One extremely large family built on a solid foundation of love for one little unborn baby boy.

Up next: The day our world changed, Jackson’s birth.

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One thought on “The Zoo.

  1. For those of you that don’t know me, I am Jessica’s mom. We had heard so much about Heather from Jess and J.J that this meeting of families should be easy…here is my recollection leading up to that day. Jess called me up and said “we think it’s a good idea to get Heathers family and our families together to meet each other before Jackson is born. We are thinking about a picnic at the zoo down by Heather and her family. What do you think”. I’m not sure of my exact respone, my stomach was in a knot. I probably said WHAT. Jess explained to me why this was a good idea..I had to agree with her reasoning process, but. I was worried Heather and her family wouldn’t like us and then change her mind. I had been a nervous emotional wreck since I found out they were getting a baby. (We were getting a baby). I was new to his “open adoption” thing and I wasn’t so sure I liked it. I thought for sure someone would have picked Jess and J.J. long ago. That’s how these open adoptions work, to me it was like a resume or a job interview. I kept thinking who the heck is looking at their portfolio, I didn’t think the social worker was doing her job. God had a plan and I had to go with it..although I was cautious about this meeting of course we would be there. Then came the day, cold, damp and gloomy. I met the family who was going to change our life forever. I met Heather with a hug, the warmest hug I can remember and yes that baby bump. Talking with Heather was easy, natural and calming. Heather asked me if I was excited, with tears running down my cheeks I shook my head yes. I was unable to speak for a few seconds. When I finally could speak I told her how excited I was for Jess and J.J. and thanked her for giving them Jackson. I conveyed how excited I was that I was going to be babysitting him for 4 months when Jess went back to work. God has blessed our family I told her. As stated it was easy to talk to this special woman, she was taking such good care of the baby she was going to have someone else raise. She had Jess and J.J make a tape of their voices so she could play it for the baby so he could get used to their voice.She didn’t miss doctor appointments and she helped ease their mind about this really was going to happen. Jess and J.J from the start loved this woman and enjoyed her. We all went for a walk around the zoo. There was playground equipment for the little kids all over. I noticed they all had weight restrictions and my weight was restricted. Finally I found a chance to play, I shot up the those steps, into the house on top just in time to hear Jess loudly say “MOOOM Nooooo”. Heather told Jess “let her be, let her be herself, I love it”. I’m not sure what Jess replied I was to busy going down that slide. No weight restrictions on that one. As the picnic came to a close I couldn’t help but feel close to this family. It was harder for them I think. But this whole day was for the love of a baby that wasn’t born yet. On the way home I couldn’t help but worry about the what ifs, what happens if Heather changes her mind…how would I ever pick up the pieces of 2 broken hearts. I don’t do well when my kids are hurting. I prayed extra hard over the next few months and put my fears in God’s hands. I wanted to enjoy every minute of this journey. I knew it was going to be one heck of a ride. My last comment here should have been noted on another blog but here it goes. I knew the 1st time J.J walked through my door he was going to be my son n law, no questions asked.

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